Rev. E. Anderson
FUNNY SAYINGS
~ A little boy was overheard praying, “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
~ All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
~ Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” little Johnny wrote, “I’m thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
~ Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
~ Broken pencils are pointless.
~ Christmas began in the heart of God. It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man.
~ Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
~ Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.
~ Did you ever want to call a maternity ward and ask if they deliver?
~ Don’t let aging get you down…It’s too hard to get back up!
~ Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it that often.
~ I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
~ I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
~ I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
~ I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
~ I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
~ I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
~ Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
~ Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.
~ Some people are wise; some are otherwise.
~ Someone showed me how static electricity worked today. I was shocked.
~ The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
~ The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
~ ~ They say the pen is mightier than the sword. But if you miss a deadline you’d better bring the sword.
~ Tried to play my shoehorn. Managed to make some footnotes.
~ Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!