Rev. E. Anderson
DIFFERENCE
A woman was bragging about her son, a college student: “He’s so brilliant! Every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary.”
“You’re lucky,” her friend said. “Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank.”
NOT TO BE OUTDONE
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: “California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.”
One week later, The Coon Valley Journal, a local newspaper in Wisconsin, reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Coon Valley, Wis., Ole Olson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless.
A TOASTIE
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, ‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the
pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman. ‘The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down .
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year.
In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman, The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’ The rabbit looks aghast.
The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’ The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll love it.’ ‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’ The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
…NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’, To which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous’ The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’ The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’ ‘I DIED’ ,said the rabbit. ‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause. The rabbit said… ‘Mixin-me-toasties.’
today’sTHOT
It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry
Barnabas Ministries UK 