Barnabas Ministries UK

 Rev. E. Anderson

A SAMARITAN FUNNY

My friend thinks he knows everything. He said that onions were the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his head.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.

She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence: “I think I’d throw up.”

HUSBAND FUNNY

The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left.

She said, “Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting.”

“It was postponed,” he replied. “The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate’s wife wouldn’t let him attend tonight.”

PRAYER FUNNY

Little Johnny and his family were having a Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house.

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started to eat right away.

“Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied.

“Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house.” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook.”

A STEAK FUNNY

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?”

Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”

Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”

Bill: “What are you whining about then? That’s what you got!” 

today’sTHOTS

Help someone when they are in trouble and he will remember you when he’s in trouble again.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.