Barnabas Ministries UK

Rev. E.Anderson

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT

by Tom Anderson

A partnership is reinvented on holiday.

I made the vow to myself on the drive down to the beach cottage we’d rented for our holiday on the JerseyShore. For two weeks I would try to be the loving husband and father Evelyn had always wanted me to be. Totally loving. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

The idea for this drastic experiment had come to me as 1 listened to the voice of a marriage counsellor on the car’s tape player. ‘You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs,’ the voice said. I knew that I had often been a selfish kind of husband, probably much too self-centred, but as a partner in a “Wall Street investment firm, I worked hard. So, after all, surely I deserved’ a bit of coddling?

‘Love is an act of will. A person can choose to love,’ said the voice on the tape. Ashamedly, I had to admit that with Evelyn 1 often failed to choose love. In petty ways, really. Chiding her for her tardiness; insisting on the TV channel /wanted to watch; in my attitude that yesterday’s news is worthless, throwing out day-old newspapers that I knew Evelyn still wanted to read. ‘Well, for two weeks all that would change.

And it did. Right from the moment I kissed Evelyn at the door and said, ‘That new yellow sweater looks great on you, darling.’

‘Oh, Tom, you noticed,’ she said, obviously surprised and pleased. Maybe a little perplexed. After the long drive down, I wanted to sit and read. Evelyn suggested a walk on the beach. I started to refuse, but then I thought; Evelyn’s been alone here with the kids all week and now she wants to be alone with me. We walked on the beach, while the kids flew their kites.

So it went. Two weeks of not calling the office; a visit to the shell museum, though I usually hate museums; holding my tongue while Evelyn’s getting ready made us late for a dinner date with friends. Relaxed and happy, that’s how the whole holiday passed, so much so that I made a new vow to keep on remembering what the counsellor had said. Even when we went home again. I would continue to choose love.

There was one thing that went wrong with my experiment, however. It’s something Evelyn and I laugh about today. On the last night at our cottage, preparing for bed, I saw Evelyn staring at me with the saddest expression.

‘What’s the matter, honey?’ I asked.

‘Tom,’ she said, sniffling, then looking pleadingly into my eyes. ‘Do you know something I don’t?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well … that check-up I had several weeks ago … our doctor … did he tell you something about me? Tom, you’ve been so good to me. Am I dying, Tom?’

It took a minute for it all to sink in. Then I burst out laughing.

‘No, love,’ I said, wrapping her in my arms, ‘you’re not dying, but I’m just starting to live!’